Making a Long-Distance Relationship Work

Finding love (in this case in a person and not in a city) can be one of the best things about travelling or studying abroad. But when you return home, the physical distance can become an emotional challenge. You may not have to shave your legs every day or clean your apartment as often. But it takes a lot of energy and commitment to make a long-distance relationship work.

Nothing is impossible! Hopefully my tips can put the finishing touches on your romance, no matter how many miles separate you. (From someone who is a long distance pro – a little commitment can really go a long way in making a permanent and happy long distance love story).

📅 Find the best time to communicate (regularly)

Although texting and email work 24/7, conversations are something that are needed to get a quick response. Depending on distance and time zones, finding the best time to talk can take a while, but practice makes perfect, and fun voice messages can make up for missed calls and poor timing. And no, it doesn’t matter if you can only talk on Sunday mornings – setting aside just that time and attention for each other is key!

💬 Find the best channel to stay in touch

Once you’ve figured out the best time, you also need to find a good communication channel. Fortunately, keeping in touch has never been easier or cheaper. All you need is a connection and then you can choose from tools such as Skype, Teams, Whatsapp, FaceTime, Snapchat, Messenger and HouseParty. Choose the channel you find easiest to use. The tip is also to alternate between different channels after a while to keep in touch; it will make communication more fun.

🎨 Be creative

Record a voicemail at night, write a letter, send a postcard or put together a self-care kit. Use your imagination to surprise your loved one and to show that you’re actually thinking about them. Being creative doesn’t mean you have to break your bank account – you don’t need to hire a private plane to write a love poem in the sky à la a romantic movie. Why not hide post-it notes with cute phrases and words in your partner’s home on your next visit?

🔥 Don’t avoid fights

If you only see each other every two weeks or months, and maybe even speak two different languages, it’s easy to put off problems or worries. You probably don’t want to spend precious time arguing and fighting when you only have 48 hours together. But avoiding or postponing fights and arguments can ruin the relationship in the long run. The more you talk about things that bother you, the less likely you are to have misunderstandings or major relationship problems. However, it’s important not to argue over text messages (it’s easy to read between the lines), but try to discuss problems when you meet or over the phone as soon as there’s something brewing. And with that said…

🗣️ Talk it out

Always try to be open and honest about your feelings. The thought of not knowing what your partner is doing at every second or who the partner spent their Saturday night with can result in overthinking and unnecessary panic. Social media doesn’t make it any easier either… It’s very easy to see (or at least imagine) how much fun your partner is having through instagram or snapchat, for example. So it’s important to trust each other so that you dare to share thoughts and feelings and find ways to deal with jealousy, anxiety and doubt together.

😊 See the glass as half full

The fact that you’ll basically be living your normal life while in a long-distance relationship can be both a blessing and a curse: you may feel you’re missing out on many of the things couples normally do, such as picking each other up from work or having lunch together. However, being able to do things by yourself can be a great advantage: For example, you can study and work undisturbed for long days without having to disappoint your partner by having to cancel dinner plans or a movie night.

🍽️ Do boring things together

If you only get together a few times a year, each time might feel like a holiday. It’s probably also a holiday because you might be taking time off work or study. There’s nothing wrong with chilling out and taking naps, eating brunch and sightseeing, but it’s also important to add in boring chores – for example, mundane things like sorting laundry, running errands or mowing the lawn. Turning everyday chores into something fun together is the ultimate test of any relationship, right?

🛬 Decide when to meet next

Depending on how much time and money it takes to get together, it may be difficult to see each other often. The feeling of not knowing when you’ll see each other again can be exhausting and incredibly emotional. So the best thing to do is to set a date for your next meeting when you say goodbye. This way you can both plan your time and take advantage of early bird tickets and special offers. As the icing on the cake, you’ll also have something to look forward to! (Spontaneous surprise visits are also a bonus, of course, so try to plan in a mix of those if you can.)

🎮 Do things together

When longing for each other is at its peak, creative ways to spend time together are needed. Even if you’re not in the same place, you can still do things together thanks to video calls! In fact, today you have no excuses to cook, eat lunch, watch a movie, go shopping or go for a walk together.

🛍️ Bring a souvenir

Sometimes a call or text can’t replace the fact that you’re not together. Wearing your partner’s favourite shirt or picking up a sample of your partner’s perfume from a cosmetics store can help. It may sound cheesy, but it can definitely quell longing. The scent can make time zones and distances disappear for a while. So, don’t be shy to go all the way if you’re in desperate need of some closeness to the one you hold dear.

👥 Meet people and visit places

The more you talk and get to know each other, the more new places and people you’ll mention to each other too. Whenever possible, introduce the people and places to each other – either with pictures or in person. In this way, everyday conversations will become more meaningful and you will have a greater sense of community, despite the distance.

Nothing is impossible – you can make a long-distance relationship work! Although distance and time zones may feel overwhelming at times, don’t forget that the greatest thing of all is still love!